Failed Friendships

Do you know what it feels like to be left behind?
Losing everyone around you in such little time.

I try not to worry since they're left in the past
but it's hard going through life knowing nothing ever lasts.

It's hard to hide behind this frown,
When on the inside you're on the verge of a breakdown.

I've lost everyone that meant the world to me.
All I have left of them are these memories.

You have no idea how badly I want them back.
But they've left me in the past which was their plan of attack.

The pain of losing them will never go away.
I'm tired of feeling like this everyday.

I feel like I no longer belong.
I fake my happiness to show nothing's wrong.

This poem is about losing friends that you've known for a long time and if you're like me it's hard to just let go.  Friends, if true, should fight for you!.. Am i worth enough to you for you to fight for me??

 

//*\\Fire//*\\

For the past year or so, i have been performing below standard.  I have not been motivated to do my best.  I have lost my fire for life, my desire to be the best, my drive for excellence. It has been peeling back my layers, breaking me down just a lil more each day.  Until now i feel like i've gotten to that point. The point where life ceases to make sense, my last layer, the only fabric left of my life.  Its like someone is striking a match in my heart, with every failed attempt the confines of my heart grows warmer, just waiting for something to tip the balance and spark the flame.  Then it will blaze hotter, brighter and more deadly than it ever have before.  my passion will grow. My drive for excellence will be unstoppable.  everytime i step onto the court i will lay my heart and soul down. I will play like the my life depended on it, like i's the last time i will be on that court.  I shall be a force to reckon with, no I AM A FORCE TO RECKON WITH, and i will always be.....when you hit bottom there's only one way to go, and that's up.  I saw God's hand reach out to me, stretching, reaching, trying to hold my hand, o pull me back to the top where i rightfully belong, but i was stuborn, i didn't want to listen, but now i'm reaching out to HIM......Any success without him, is complete and utter failure, unsatisfying.  My fire shall burn again....I will be who i was always meant to be, all that i can be....

Have your fire ever dwindled?
Have you ever felt like you just don't have the will to go on?

beauty

I'm sure at some point or another all of us has had some confrontation with this word...either you are bullied, teased, taunted or rejected because you do not meet the standards of conventional beauty.  Then on the other hand there are those that, think them self the very meaning of the word.  They take it over board.  What many of you on the other side might not know is that many of these people that put off this confident sometimes conceited nature and constantly belittle each other, have a lot of skeletons in the closet.  They are very insecure and when they find themself in only the company of their thoughts, those confident feelings quickly fade and a self-concious, scared little girl that will go to any extreme to be considered conventianally beautiful surfaces.  This is dangerous because these are the same little girls that develop eating disorders and commit suicide because they are in pursuit of perfection, something that is considered to be very subjective, thus very unatainable in this aspect. 

What is beauty?
 To me i believe beauty starts in the heart, the soul and the mind.  You have to be beautiful on the inside in order for it to be projected on the outside.  Being angry, ignorant and insecure only wares on your outward beauty. Before you adorn your outside man make sure your heart is clean, make sure it is in the right place.

How about you....how do you feel about beauty? what does it mean to you? what do you consider beautiful?