Failed Friendships

Do you know what it feels like to be left behind?
Losing everyone around you in such little time.

I try not to worry since they're left in the past
but it's hard going through life knowing nothing ever lasts.

It's hard to hide behind this frown,
When on the inside you're on the verge of a breakdown.

I've lost everyone that meant the world to me.
All I have left of them are these memories.

You have no idea how badly I want them back.
But they've left me in the past which was their plan of attack.

The pain of losing them will never go away.
I'm tired of feeling like this everyday.

I feel like I no longer belong.
I fake my happiness to show nothing's wrong.

This poem is about losing friends that you've known for a long time and if you're like me it's hard to just let go.  Friends, if true, should fight for you!.. Am i worth enough to you for you to fight for me??

 

//*\\Fire//*\\

For the past year or so, i have been performing below standard.  I have not been motivated to do my best.  I have lost my fire for life, my desire to be the best, my drive for excellence. It has been peeling back my layers, breaking me down just a lil more each day.  Until now i feel like i've gotten to that point. The point where life ceases to make sense, my last layer, the only fabric left of my life.  Its like someone is striking a match in my heart, with every failed attempt the confines of my heart grows warmer, just waiting for something to tip the balance and spark the flame.  Then it will blaze hotter, brighter and more deadly than it ever have before.  my passion will grow. My drive for excellence will be unstoppable.  everytime i step onto the court i will lay my heart and soul down. I will play like the my life depended on it, like i's the last time i will be on that court.  I shall be a force to reckon with, no I AM A FORCE TO RECKON WITH, and i will always be.....when you hit bottom there's only one way to go, and that's up.  I saw God's hand reach out to me, stretching, reaching, trying to hold my hand, o pull me back to the top where i rightfully belong, but i was stuborn, i didn't want to listen, but now i'm reaching out to HIM......Any success without him, is complete and utter failure, unsatisfying.  My fire shall burn again....I will be who i was always meant to be, all that i can be....

Have your fire ever dwindled?
Have you ever felt like you just don't have the will to go on?

beauty

I'm sure at some point or another all of us has had some confrontation with this word...either you are bullied, teased, taunted or rejected because you do not meet the standards of conventional beauty.  Then on the other hand there are those that, think them self the very meaning of the word.  They take it over board.  What many of you on the other side might not know is that many of these people that put off this confident sometimes conceited nature and constantly belittle each other, have a lot of skeletons in the closet.  They are very insecure and when they find themself in only the company of their thoughts, those confident feelings quickly fade and a self-concious, scared little girl that will go to any extreme to be considered conventianally beautiful surfaces.  This is dangerous because these are the same little girls that develop eating disorders and commit suicide because they are in pursuit of perfection, something that is considered to be very subjective, thus very unatainable in this aspect. 

What is beauty?
 To me i believe beauty starts in the heart, the soul and the mind.  You have to be beautiful on the inside in order for it to be projected on the outside.  Being angry, ignorant and insecure only wares on your outward beauty. Before you adorn your outside man make sure your heart is clean, make sure it is in the right place.

How about you....how do you feel about beauty? what does it mean to you? what do you consider beautiful?

~~Concert~~

Disappointment, disapointment!
That is all you see on the faces of the poor souls that had to endure through that train wreck that took place at the MCC grounds last night!  Building hopes with promises of Big Stars and tantalizingly exciting performances, just to break them down with just the bare necessity!.  This was a disgrace and it brings me back to the incident of this Strut the Tarmac fashion show that was suppose to take place so many times over and have still not yet happened! I repeat, I'm still waiting to see this extra-orinary show that was promised by the people of BBN!!!! It is frustrating to know that these people, as big as their brand is, would try to pull this scam over on the people!.. The worst part of it all is that i had already payed for the ticket and the guy refuses to refund my money. If that is not facey then i don't know what is..i have had it with this so called entertainment industry in Belize!!  The onus is on the people that got cheated!! 

Will you sit back and take it? or will you stand up and do something about it?!? 

blogging.....

okay, i started blogging a few weeks ago for a class, but then i quickly began to enjoy it!...It's always exciting when you sit in front of the laptop, a million ideas running through your mind and you can't wait to start writing but do you ever realize how all those ideas just disappear the minute you actually start writing?  I call it being tongue-tied on paper..lol.. But anyways, here i am yet again..many ideas with no where to start! 

Does this ever happen to you? and if yes, what are your ways to get the creative juices flowing again?

......life

All of us have had that person in our life that we feel we can't live without.  We would go to extremes just to make sure that they are happy and that they remain in our lives.. i can think of many situations where i have sacrificed who i am and the way i behave to please someone else...and that should never be the case...

we are commonly scared of losing someone. but what is better? losing someone? Or losing yourself for someone? THINK...

He Only Takes the Best!

God watched you as you suffered,
and knew you had your share.
He gently closed your weary eyes
and took you in his care.

Your memory is our keepsake, with
that we will never part.
God has you in his keeping, we
have you in our hearts.

Nothing could  be more beautiful
than the memories that we have of you.
To us you were someone special.
God must have thought so too.

All our lives we shall miss you, as
the years come and go,
but in our hearts you will live forever,
because we love you so.

God sawyou were getting tired,
and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around ou and
whispered "Come to me"

A thousand times we needed you,
A thousand times we cried,
If LOVE alone could have saved you,
You never wouldhave died,

A golden heart stopped beating,
hard-working hands laid to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best!

~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~R. I. P. ~~~~~~~~~~<3 ~~~~~~~~
    Sheila elaine Willoughby nee BRannon

I will never forget you.  you are an extraordinary woman of boundless energy and strenght.  I'm sure your making God's day a bit brighter in the same way you always managed to brighten ours.

I love you forever and a day :)
See you  soon :)